My problem is I’m way too overcritical of my work, whether it be at my job, or even my YouTube videos. When I first started the channel back in March, I was care free. I did whatever I felt like, made jokes about whoever I felt like, and didn’t care what people thought about it.

Flash forward to today, where I have over 4,200 subscribers, and my fingers crossed 24/7 that I’ll get a full fledged YouTube partnership. I’m constantly over analyzing every detail of every video idea I come up with. Will people get it? Is it funny just to me? Is it gonna be too long? Will it get accepted for revenue sharing? Will it go viral out of nowhere and I won’t make a dime off of it?

(That last question is due to the fact that both FCL & my Simpson vlog are revenue share vids, but “I’m a Merv” isn’t, yet it has over 10,000 views. Go figure. Again, I’m not some money hungry asshole, I would just like to make money from my vids so I can create bigger/better vids)

These are all concerns that race through my head each time I develop a concept for a new video. I’ve lost the ability to say “Fuck all!” and just make a video. Now, I’m not blogging about this to get a bunch of sympathy comments. I know my viewers who read this will say “Fuck all!!! We like your vids! Do what you want & screw what people think!” I appreciate that, but unfortunately it doesn’t help. It’s a demon I have to battle on my own. And whereas this demon is great at work, where I try to perform at my best to get paid for filming/editing, within my own creative realm it truly is a curse.

So hopefully, HOPEFULLY, I’ll kick this thing and create this video idea I’ve been sitting on for two weeks. That idea is basically a mockumentary style vid centered around the “actor” that played Nate Dunbar, Fart Cancer Lawyer. Some people will get it. Some won’t.

Hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving & thanks for reading and watching.

Stay UnFamous. (For those unfamiliar with his work, that’s former WWE wrestler Super Crazy pictured at the top.)